


A Start

by pureofheartdumbofass



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24680716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pureofheartdumbofass/pseuds/pureofheartdumbofass
Summary: Obi-Wan approaches Cody with his feelings but Cody's interpretation of the situation reveals that they all have lot to work through.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 138





	A Start

**Author's Note:**

> Every single Star Wars character needs therapy.

It had been six months since Marshal Commander Cody had been assigned to the 212th and General Kenobi, but to Obi-Wan it felt like he had known the man for years. It was there in which lay the problem.

Had it not been for the war, Obi-Wan might have been much more lenient with his feelings. Even though he had been quite anxious and uptight in his youth, if there was one thing his Master had taught him it was that the Jedi Code is more of a generalisation than an absolute rule. But with the Republic, and more importantly (though he wouldn’t admit it for that would be admitting attachment he valued higher than the greater good) his men whose lives he had been entrusted with and the friends he considered family, relying on him, he could not afford to not perform at his best. Not only that, but his position of power over Cody remained an issue too. To approach the Commander with his feelings was to put pressure on someone under his command and he would not do that. So he had been meditating.

Unfortunately, he was now painfully aware that he had been meditating on this problem for three months, almost since the moment the emotions had reared their head, and no matter how much he released to the force, they returned the second his Commander made a dry remark or let a gloved hand linger on his shoulder.

He had appreciated Cody from their first mission together. The man was clever, brave, ingenuitive in a crisis and held a fierce compassion for his brothers that he adamantly denied but that his eyes always gave away. Their time working together had been success after success but it was the losses that had brought them together. It wasalways what either brought everyone together or tore them all apart in war. And Obi-Wan had held Cody as he cried for what was probably the first time he had been allowed to cry in his life, and he had seen himself as a scared Padawan, left alone to run a revolution and later to raise a child, While those around him held him on a pedestal he lived in constant fear from falling from. And Cody had thanked him, for understanding, thanked him for being there when it had been the very least he could do after all that Cody had done for him and Obi-Wan knew then that as long as he could he would strive to always be there, even if he had to fight for it. And so respect lead to admiration and admiration to devotion while protective urges became affection and before he knew it just being in the room with his Commander had the force flowing through him like a warm current.

With meditation not working he had a bad feeling that he would have to come to terms with these feelings the old fashioned way. Unfortunately the most distracting part was hiding his feelings from the man in question. So, it seemed, despite his every wish to not make the Commander uncomfortable, speaking to Cody was the best way forwards.

Cody looked at the message displayed on his vambrace. A request to meet in General Kenobi’s quarters to discuss a “personal matter”. He couldn’t think of any occurrences in their latest battles that would warrant a meeting like this. They hadn’t even worked alongside the 501st recently so there was no reason for the General to insist on apologising for his former Padawan’s behaviour.

He wasn’t opposed to discussing “personal matters” with Obi-Wan and they had taken to meeting in his quarters to work on their respective reports after battles but the fact that he couldn’t pinpoint the reason was, unsettling somehow.

Cody had been serving under General Kenobi for almost half a year now. In that time they had worked side by side, as equals. Cody was even sure that he could call the man a friend. They had grown quite close, fighting with someone does that to you, perhaps a little too close on Cody’s side. Cody knew of the Jedi Code, and the GAR rules against fraternisation among officers, he also knew that he was a clone. But he served under Kenobi, and while his trainers might call him “defective” he knew that aside from Obi-Wan he _technically_ had no one else to answer too. So if he did not deem his uh, interest, in his General an issue, what reason would he have to report it? That was how he let himself continue to watch Obi-Wan from a distance, enjoy their time together, appreciate his pretty face and kind eyes that somehow weren’t nearly as kind as the man himself. He would never tell Obi-Wan, he couldn’t, if it weren’t for the war it might be different but if it weren’t for the war, well…

Either way there was no harm if it was something he could keep to himself. The only person at risk was him, and when coming forward about it and keeping it secret and being found out brought the same consequences, there was no point not doing something for himself was there?

Of course, the ideal result would be surviving the war and dying a happy man, able to love Obi-Wan Kenobi distantly until he grew old but while there were endless options for more irrational conclusions, even this one seemed a little far-fetched.

But, for better or for worse, this is why Cody made his way to the General’s quarters mostly at peace, and maybe looking forward to seeing Obi-Wan, just a little.

Obi-Wan sat at the desk in his small room, hunched over a datapad, no doubt of some importance. He looked up as Cody entered and gave him a small smile but it looked, wary, the unsettled feeling seeped back into Cody’s mind.

“Cody” He said, standing up and making his way over to him. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“I saw that, yes.” He coughed awkwardly.

“Oh, right, of course, the message. Well-” He paused, hands in front of his chest, fiddling restlessly with the hem of his robe. Cody would be lying if he said by this point he wasn’t nervous, desperately trying to figure out what on earth the General was talking about while his usually dormant imagination was adamant that it knew exactly what was happening. After a few drawn out seconds, Obi-Wan took a measured breath and Cody saw his “negotiator” mask settle over his features.

“I know you are familiar with the ways of the Jedi, Including the Code, and all the regulations of the GAR of course.” He began. “But it has come to my attention that there is something I must speak with you about in order to make sure you- I, can continue to fulfil my role to the best of my ability…”

His heart stopped. His brain could only tell him one thing: it had happened, it had actually happened.

He knew, he’s seen, he’d caught Cody, why else would he bring this up? And why else would he approach it with such professionalism and, Cody began to reassess his General’s compassion, authority? Suddenly the sweet memories of casual touches and soft gazes he had let himself indulge in turned bitter in his mind. Obi-Wan, Kenobi, the General, was still talking but Cody wasn’t listening. There was no point panicking now, good soldiers didn’t panic. Good soldiers didn’t behave unprofessionally around their superiors either, especially when their superior is a natborn. So instead he pushed everything deep down and relaxed his muscles. He chose a new goal, accepting his fate, one last mission, this time fighting for himself.

“I understand given the circumstances it is not my place to make a request like this but all I ask is that I be decommissioned” Throat tightening around the words “Sir.” He added, hoping that the General would understand his respect and be sympathetic to his plea. He had cut him off mid-sentence.

“What?” There was a drop in the voice but that was far beyond Cody’s worries now.

“It is my preference over reconditioning.” Again Kenobi said nothing so Cody continued, holding on to his last bit of hope, if a bit desperately. “I am not denying it is a personal preference Sir, but we have worked closely together and I do not believe you are the sort to deny a man a choice about his life. Even in light of actions against my training and in direct violation of GAR protocol.” Finally he looked up to meet the other man’s eyes. The General stood motionless, emotionless, and unreadable. The silence was killing him. “I know you believe us to be individuals sir and I do too so I am asking as an individual, for you to let me have this rather than be stripped of who I am, forced to forget my brothers, to forget you, to forget my feelings for you.” The last words came out strangled, he couldn’t speak anymore, he could barely breathe. All that was left was to wait. He supposed, while it would upset him before he was reconditioned, he, Cody, would be dying either way. But it still meant so much to him, to have what little control of the rest of his life that he could.

“Cody,” the voice was worn, weary, wary. Not at all the deep, stern tone he was expecting. The General sounded confused, concerned. “What are you talking about?”

Cody’s feelings for him were not the subject of this discussion. Cody’s feelings, for him?

But suddenly those words, while they were everything he hoped for and everything he had accepted was impossible, were not the ones to dwell on. His blood turned to liquid lead as he fully processed what Cody had just said. First, he thought Obi-Wan had brought him here to reprimand him on his behaviour and for having _feelings_ , both of which he somehow, despite his infatuation, hadn’t even noticed. And he expected, no, _requested_ death as a punishment, as a mercy opposed to the only other option he seemed to consider. Hot tears prickled behind his eyes. Why was he the one crying when Cody was thinking _that_? When the force swirled around him in not fear, but morbid acceptance?

They stood, a foot apart, silently and Obi-Wan cursed everyone that had ever let his commander think this way, himself included. He needed to change this, to tell him how much he cared, not just for him but for all his brothers, how much Cody meant to him, how grateful he was.

He couldn’t speak so he moved forwards and Cody- Cody flinched. Horror reeled through his mind again and his welling tears began to spill over his cheeks. Cody’s glazed expression seemed to shiver for a second. Again Obi-Wan moved, raising his hand as slowly and gently as he could.

“No.” Was all he could say so he tried to project his full explanation to him, hoping the message could get through. His hand managed to reach Cody’s cheek. “No.”

Cody closed his eyes and leaned into the touch just a little.

That was a start.


End file.
